Ditch the Fat Chat with Yourself and Others

Oh, the fat chat how women love to do it. Women fat chat and don’t even realize it sometimes.  Fat chat usually starts when women talk about food or clothing.  One woman starts saying how fat they are or how much weight they’ve gained then another woman will add how much they hate their body as well so that they shouldn’t’ complain. Then it just becomes this body shaming fest back and forth.  When I say most women don’t notice it it’s because they truly don’t.  I know this because I used to be one of those joining in on the fat chat. Now that I have embarked on this body positive journey and the fat chat happens I can recognize it and see how wrong it is.  I don’t fault anyone I just see how much women have been brainwashed myself included to feel like we need to be “perfect.”.  It is BS and we need to stop putting ourselves down. 

How can we stop doing this and others from doing it?

If you are a fat chat conversation starter acknowledge when you say it.  You can't change what you don't acknowledge. Think of recent phrases you have used to others and yourself that put yourself or your body down.  Write them down. Look at them. See how these words are negative and when you read them ask yourself what you are feeling. What emotions are you feeling? Then rewrite those negative words into positive phrases. For example, if you are prone to saying, “I look fat” rewrite something like “I love my eyes.”  Read the positive and ask yourself again how you are feeling? Do you feel a difference?  Usually if you replace negative with positive you will feel better about yourself.  This is what you must start doing to avoid the fat chat.

If you hear someone start the conversation then you must help them become aware.  Usually people will say positive things back but sometimes that only rewards the fat chatter with validation they are seeking. Confidence and being body positive means you are not seeking out the approval of others. The best way to make anyone aware is to literally say, “hey stop, no fat chat.” Let the person or persons know you will not partake in the putting down of themselves or others and this is the best way to start explaining how you’ve become body positive and that they can embark on the journey too. 

Another pet peeve of mine is when women put other women down. It is one thing to put yourself down but when you start gossiping about how other women look it is downright petty.  Us women need to stick together because we should all become aware that the beauty industry targets us and tries to make us feel like we constantly need to change ourselves.  I absolutely will change the subject or leave the conversation when women start to talk about another woman’s weight or look.  If that person is talking about someone they will probably talk about you the same way.  It tells me that this person is very insecure as well because confident women would never pick out the flaws in others. 

Times have changed and women need to see they have more power than before.  We don’t have to compete for men or be limited to certain jobs.  Therefore, we are more than just our looks. I wouldn’t want anyone part of my circle to be superficial or artificial I only want authentic and kind.  It is tough when fat chat starts but if you notice it and it bothers you be proud that you have moved passed the superficial needs of society. It is important to try to help others as there are so many still stuck in the old ways of thinking of what a woman is and should be.  Therefore, I created this blog to empower women we are all deserving and have so much to offer the world than just our looks!


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  • Alice on

    I agree saying ’I’m fat’ shouldn’t be used to put people down, but being self-aware about weight fluctuations is definitely proactive and can get us moving on healthier tracks!

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