“Comparison is waste of energy. Every individual is unique with unique talents. Find your passion and live your best life.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Pearls of Wisdom: Great mind
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We have all done it and some us may not even be aware of how much we do it. What is that? "She is so much prettier than me." "She is so much thinner than me." "They are more successful than me." "Why can't I have what they have." Comparing yourself to others is what these statements are. We get down on ourselves when we feel like we are not enough or have low self-esteem and we continue to suck the joy out of ourselves when we do this. Another emotion that comes from comparing yourself to others is envy and jealousy.
These are normal human emotions we just have to learn how to control them so they won't hold us back for reaching our own goals and dreams. Some say social media has made comparing ourselves to others worse but people have been doing this since the beginning of time. It used to be people kept up with the Joneses and now its keeping up with the Kardashians. The internet has only exposed more of what people would be doing without the internet. There are certain people who love to boast about themselves with the goal of making other people feel bad. There are ways you can protect yourself from these people but mostly you can protect yourself from falling too far into these emotions. I want to share tips that have helped me drastically when I start to dwell on my feelings about comparing myself to others.
1) Be Aware. Most importantly is for you to become aware of how often you compare yourself to others and why? Whenever you make statements like "he/she is better or has this and I don't is when you feeling envious. Catch yourself and then ask yourself why you are making that statement. Do you often compare yourself to the same people or feel like you have to constantly compete? How do you feel about yourself at the moment? For example, when I catch myself comparing myself to others I feel like I haven't made the progress I wanted in certain areas of my life. Becoming aware of when, why, and who you compare yourself to others will help you deal with these emotions. Otherwise, you will never stop doing it because you won't be understanding the deeper roots causes.
2) Know Looks Can Be Deceiving. We tend to have this belief that people who look good must have joyful, happy lives. It’s time to challenge that thought process. Just because someone looks happy on the outside, doesn’t mean they are on the inside. There’s a saying that money doesn’t buy happiness, but the same can be said for looks. Someone who looks good may get more attention and have a slightly easier life, but that doesn’t mean they feel more fulfilled. As said above it is so easy to fake a lifestyle on social media. Stop hoping and wishing you had the lives of others because you are only seeing the highlight reel of what people show to the world. You don't know what everyone has gone through to get where they are or the current hardships they may be facing.
3) Have Realistic Expectations of Yourself. Start thinking of what you want to accomplish and understand what it will take for you to get there. Also look at the what lifestyle you live or want to live and ask yourself if your goals match with your lifestyle. You may be focused on living someone else's lifestyle instead of your own. For example, if you are buying new TVs, cars, etc. just to appear successful or keep up with someone and put yourself in debt because it doesn't match your lifestyle you
must become aware and hold your self-accountable for causing more good than harm to your goals. You can’t accomplish things by looking at others lives and trying to keep up with others financially if it doesn't match your means and lifestyle. Dwelling on how unfair it is that they have what they have is keeping you distracted from your goals. If you want something go out and get it. You can’t accomplish anything sitting there scrolling and complaining. Believe in yourself and focus on your path and your path alone.
4) Focus on the Good Things About You. Start by making a list of all the things you like about yourself. We spend too much time being negative about ourselves, so focusing on the positives is important. Look at your eyes, your arms, your hair, or your legs. Write down all the things you love and stick it somewhere you’ll see every morning to remind yourself of all the great things. Also, focus on the non-physical things about yourself which actually more important. What are you proud of what you accomplished? What are some of your strengths? Focus on what you have that is unique to your personality and focus on that when you feel inadequate. We all have so much to offer the world inside of us then what is on the outside.
Know that there is only one you and you have something special to offer the world. Focus on the good things about yourself. Understand where you fall short to work on your weaknesses we all have them. Nothing comes easy you will have to work hard at whatever you want to accomplish.