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“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”
What is the opinion or value you set on yourself? The problem with society and mostly in America is that a lot of people measure their self-worth in unhealthy ways. Self-worth is defined as the perception of oneself. You are going to have to learn how to enjoy yourself more if you want to enjoy your life more. I want to discuss how you can measure yourself in healthy ways of self-worth and value and talk about the unhealthy ways of valuing yourself so that you know the difference, so you can work on focusing on the healthy ways of valuing yourself.
Let’s talk about what should not be measuring your self-worth and value.
Appearance. For women, this is the most pressured measurement of worth. Society says women should have certain measurements and always constantly be dieting and worrying about their appearance. The beauty industry loves to target the insecurities of women telling them they constantly need to buy their product or program to look younger, skinnier, and beautiful. Look at how many magazines there are just for women. All those magazines have images of models that are photo chopped and touched up and their ads are saying buy this, so you can look like that. You can spend your time trying to be perfect, but I am sorry to tell you that you cannot find your worth looking “perfect.”
Other People. This is another big one for both sexes. Hollywood is to blame for the idea that we all must find “the one.” Hollywood and society say must find someone to complete us when it comes to finding a significant other. Those ideas form thinking and habits of codependency instead of learning that you are valuable without anyone. When you try to put that much expectation and pressure of relying on another human being to make you happy and fulfilled you will end up feeling emptier and disappointed. You cannot find your worth in other people your worth is with you. Whether you are single, married or divorced your self-worth is not tied to these statuses. You must learn to love yourself.
Work and Achievements. Another measurement people use to value themselves is their title at work and achievements that being degrees or certifications. I have heard people say they have judged others based on their education and what university or Ivy league school they went to. If you based your value on these two things you will have to constantly continue to achieve the next big thing to feel worthy. People who also think with this type of value also seems to look down on others which will likely push people away from you and you will likely form superficial relationships. Wealth is also tied to these as some people think you are only valuable if you are rich.
Now how else can you understand what your value and worth are?
First off, you must know you were born with the ultimate right to experience being a human. You are alive right now and that means you are worthy and valued. You just like all of us human beings have something to contribute to this world. Your worth is what you think about yourself. Do you truly know yourself? The above measurements of worth appearance, title, status, wealth etc., are only descriptors of where you are in life, but they don’t make you more or less valuable. Any of those things can be gone at any instance and your value and worth will then be crushed. Thus, self-worth must come within. The foundation you must create with yourself will have to involve the following:
Learning how to love yourself. If you don’t like yourself, you will not set any value within yourself. You probably talk negatively towards yourself and you probably allow people to treat you badly. You must learn to start a relationship with yourself, so you can understand what you mean to yourself. You can do this by #1 Hushing your Inner Critic. Chances are if you haven’t had a great relationship with yourself your inner critic is running your life. You must learn to control it and regain control, so you can begin to accept yourself. Learn more about The Importance of Self-Acceptance as I go into details of the benefits.
Learning to Support Yourself Mentally. After you have begun to form a relationship with yourself you begin to learn that you can trust yourself through thick and thin. You can make yourself happy, sad, mad etc. You can control how you react to situations. If you are in a self-loathing negative state of mind, then you will never be able to mentally support yourself. Having all feelings is normal but we cannot stay stuck in a self-loathing or victimized mindset. What you want when you have a self-loathing or victimized mindset of for someone to save you from yourself. No one can ever do that. You will always be disappointed when you rely on anyone but yourself to bring you up. Sure, we can have support systems but we ourselves can only control our mindsets. It so important to learn about to bring gratitude and positive thinking in your life.
Being Present. Since America is driven to constantly be “busy” which is another form of measuring your worth to some people being present in the moment of living are forgotten. For example, when you make yourself a cup of coffee or something to eat do you really enjoy it or do you just unsub consciously eat or drink? Most people may drink or eat while doing something else. Being present means to stop slow down and focus on what you are doing right now. Take the time to enjoy that cup of coffee and share gratitude for being able to be where you are. Breathe deep. How often do you just take big heaps of breath and stretch your body calming your mind to stay within the moment? A lot of us are focusing on the what’s next instead of enjoying the now and being grateful for what we have currently. When you begin to live life in the present you become more aware of yourself and grateful for being alive.
No Competing or Comparing Yourself to Others. This is a big one I have written a blog post detailing a bit more click here to read. If you have friends or family members that make you feel like competing whether that be for material things, appearance, status, or achievements. When you are constantly competing with people on these things you are more than likely tying your self-worth to these things. You will always be chasing after the next best thing and when you don’t have it or until you get it you will feel empty like your life has no meaning. That is also the same as comparing yourself to others you can’t live someone else’s life you can only live your life and striving to be someone else will only make your life feel meaningless.
What is important here again is how you measure your self-worth. Think of ways you measure your worth. Are they healthy or unhealthy? Don’t get caught up in what everyone else is doing or what anyone says about you. You decide what you are worth and what your value of life means to you.