“Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take its place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.”
― Beverly Engel
Click Below for Audio Version
Last week I talked about others criticising you and how maybe you might have allowed those comments from others to define you.
If you've allowed the comments from others to define you it is possible you now have a nasty little voice that nags at you making you feel insecure at times when you need confidence the most. That voice may tell you that you are not skinny enough, pretty enough or smart enough. This voice may creep up when you are about to take on your dreams and it may keep you from moving forward on those dreams because you might believe what that voice is telling you. This voice needs to be hushed and you can control this nasty voice. Here are 3 ways you can tell that annoying insecure voice to hush.
1) Break the Nasty Voice Habit. This nasty little voice is a bad habit because when we are afraid of the unknown we tend to fall back to fear and believe those lies our little nasty voice tells us. Lies like "you will never be good enough" or "don't even try you are not as good as the other person." We allow this little bad habit into our lives so that we can make excuses to stay in a safe zone. Therefore, you will have to break the habit by simply not believing those lies you tell yourself. Every time you say something that begins with "I can't", "I'm not", "I won't" and such like phrases remember its the inner critic who is trying to tell you lies.
2) Name the Critic. Identify the nasty voice by giving it a name. Name it whatever will make you remember to stop feeding into it. When that voice occurs trying to make you insecure simply say with nonaggression "please Sharon I don't have time for you today and your negative comments because I believe in myself and I don't want to regret not trying, so keep quiet." This way you can put that voice in check and hush it up.
3) Forgive Your Inner Critic. Hushing your inner voice is important but it is most important to identify where this nasty voice came from. Do you know why you say those nasty words to yourself? This is the hard part. You need to dig deep and figure out the source of your inner critic. Ask yourself do you believe what those words tell you? Do you believe you are enough? Do you believe you are ugly? Do you believe you are undeserving of love, and success? This part of you probably wants attention from you. Giving your inner critic attention can allow you to then forgive it. Then you can start being compassionate to yourself once you learn what your true inner voice sounds like.
The point just like the post of How to Have a Comeback for Body Shamers
is to take away control from all the negative voices. You are in charge of your life and how you interpret your confidence. When we go after something that is important to us and take risks it is scary because it’s the feeling of the unknown. We don't know how things will go so we get scared that we won't be able to handle it. Sometimes hiding under the negative even if it’s a terrible feeling feels better than the fear of the unknown, so we've allowed our inner critic to win. However, if you let your nasty inner critic rule your life you are still not living your life instead you are allowing your subconscious to take over which might have been shaped by other people. Thus, you are still living with the concern of what others think. You must learn to trust yourself. Trust is vital in any relationship especially the most important relationship of your life which is the relationship with yourself.
Please comment below if you think these three steps are helpful and if you think it is helpful please share with your friends.